Celtic Heroes

Heres some I got out of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, perfect if you need to...well you know.

Two Eskimos were sitting in a kayak. They got chilly, so they decided to light a fire in the craft. Unfortunately, it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have you kayak and heat it, too.

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one became known as the lesser of two weevils.

A woman had twins, but gave them up for adoption. One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named "Amal." The other went to a family in Spain who named him "Juan." Years later, Juan sent a picture of himself to his mom. When she got the picture, she told her husband wistfully that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responded: "But they're twins-if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.

Some friars needed to raise money, so they opened up a small florist shop. Since everyone like to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to plead with them. They ignored her, too. Finally, the rival florist hired Hugh McTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop. Terrified, they did so-thereby proving(are you ready?) that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Then finally this one is not from the bathroom readers and is absolutely horrific in punniness.

What do you get when you cross an oak tree and a joke? A corny joke.

Heres some I got out of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, perfect if you need to...well you know.

Two Eskimos were sitting in a kayak. They got chilly, so they decided to light a fire in the craft. Unfortunately, it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have you kayak and heat it, too.

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one became known as the lesser of two weevils.

A woman had twins, but gave them up for adoption. One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named "Amal." The other went to a family in Spain who named him "Juan." Years later, Juan sent a picture of himself to his mom. When she got the picture, she told her husband wistfully that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responded: "But they're twins-if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.

Some friars needed to raise money, so they opened up a small florist shop. Since everyone like to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to plead with them. They ignored her, too. Finally, the rival florist hired Hugh McTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop. Terrified, they did so-thereby proving(are you ready?) that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Then finally this one is not from the bathroom readers and is absolutely horrific in punniness.

What do you get when you cross an oak tree and a joke? A corny joke.

These were all very punny. Get it? Punny is like funny? Anyone? No? Ok.

http://youtu.be/JC1b2QMnLTo

Go to it believe me

I wanted to go to the north pole for summer break but then my plans went south...

@PurpleRain

Your eyes are like stars because of all the space behind them

Yes I saw this before ailerons sig
When life gives you lemons you make lemonade. When life gives you melons you might be dyslexic

Whats ET short for?


.. so he can fit in his space ship hehehe

What do you get after playing the lute for 10 hours straight?
Minstrel cramps.


I'm sorry I had to.

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

@PurpleRain

Your eyes are like stars because of all the space behind them

Oh nooo u didn't

I know a girl who has a taser, boy she is Stunning.....